In my last post I talked about the power of personal stories to captivate and compel the people you most need to influence.
These are stories drawn from your own experience. Stories that will resonate with your audience because they actually resonate with you.
I also offered a simple process for “auditing” your experience to build an inventory of stories for practically every occasion.
Of course as we all know, it’s not just what we say, but how we say it. So here are some tips on how to tell a personal story for maximum impact.
1. Give it Time
Make sure you’ve had the time and space to process your personal story. Especially if it’s one that’s tinged with emotion.
There’s nothing wrong with showing emotion — that’s a compelling rhetorical technique. But you also want to make sure you don’t fully lose control, particularly in a business situation.
Your best friends will understand and support you — your colleagues might feel uncomfortable.
Which gets us to our next point.
2. Practice Your Personal Story
Practice your story out loud and on your feet. That will help you process it through the power of repetition.
Locate and be aware of any tough emotional moments and think about how you can navigate through or around them. Maybe you pull back on certain details.
Saying it aloud also helps you discover the rhythms and nuance of the story.
By the way, this is the same process I recommend for preparing presentations. It works just as well for storytelling.
3. Cut the Chaff
Don’t get bogged down in unnecessary detail. Use your goal and your audience as your filter.
This is part of the reason personal storytelling is so hard — because it happened to us it all feels important!
But those details may not be as important to your audience. So as with any communication, think first and foremost about their needs. What’s vital to them?
Next, avoid the twists and turns — the tangents and asides that aren’t central to the purpose and meaning of the story.
As I often say, picture your story as a tree. You want to stick to the trunk and avoid getting tangled in the branches and twigs.
4. Internalize Your Personal Story
Don’t try to memorize your story word-for-word. Instead, “internalize” the flow and beats of the story.
That means practicing it in your head over and over as you go about your day — walking the dog, doing the dishes, folding laundry.
You may tell it differently every time, and that’s okay. Again, you’re not memorizing the specific words. As long as the story comes across, you’re fine.
Do this enough and telling it aloud for an audience will feel like second nature. You won’t be inwardly focused, with the wheels visibly turning in your head as you try to remember what comes next.
5. Relive the Moment
Try to “experience” the story as you tell it. So you’re not just reciting it, you’re living it.
Where were you when it happened? What did you see? Who were you with? How did you feel?
6. Connect With the Audience
Of course, try not to get too much inside your head. Make eye contact with your audience. Focus especially on a few friendly faces in different locations. Feed off their reactions.
7. Keep it Together
If you do get choked up, take a breath, take a moment. In fact, be sure to breathe throughout — we have a tendency to hold our breath in tense situations.
You can also try this “cheat” I would sometimes use in my acting career: bite the inside of your cheek.
Finally, remember this: people want to be informed and entertained, so your audience is actually rooting for you to succeed. Thinking of them as allies instead of adversaries could help calm your nerves, put you at ease and get the result you’re looking for.
[A version of this post originally ran in PRSA’s Strategies & Tactics.]
[Image licensed to Rob Biesenbach LLC by iStock]